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Celebrity Interviews:
Barbara De Angelis - Find Your Way
A Map for Navigating Your Life and Love
Barbara was on her way to India when we first spoke, I had just come back. Our 30 minute interview turned into an hour in no time flat! We both realized that 40 years has passed since the 60's. YIKES, we both said. Can't be. But is its so. And in that time, we have seen so many changes. From Yoga Studios to Pilates and Feng Shui to Sushi... The times they are a cahngin'.
by Liz Sterling ©2008
Barbara De Angelis Ph.D., is one of the most influential teachers of our time in the field of relationships and personal growth. As a pioneer of personal transformation, she was one of the first on the scene in the 1980's to bring forth the ideas of self-help. With Zig Ziglar and many other motivational gurus of the past, Barbara stands out as the woman who has been a seeker of truth, a teacher of the heart and a guide to embracing our inner wisdom.
The Long and Winding Road
Barbara's most recent book, How Did I Get Here? Finding Your Way to Renewed Hope and Happiness When Life and Love Take Unexpected Turns, is a map for navigating the meandering road called life. As author and poet David Whyte said, "If we can see the path laid out for us, there is a good chance it is not our path: it is probably someone else's we have substituted for our own. Our path must be deciphered every step of the way." This deciphering is a euphemism for finding our own way in a world that expects us to know everything, where little is known. It's not about getting it right or doing it well, it is about learning to work with what life presents. Barbara illustrates this throughout her book. She wants us to be prepared for the unexpected, to embrace and welcome the twists and turns, knowing there is nothing arbitrary about the experiences we encounter on this journey. Life is forever changing. We all know that to be true. Hugh Prather says, "Just when I think I learned the way to live, life changes." So what do we do when we collide with the unexpected and as Barbara says, "find ourselves shattered awake?" She offers something worth pondering, on page 69 of her book. It is the classic poem, "The Guest House" by Rumi, a 13th century poet. This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, sometimes momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Life Unfolding Perfectly
Have you ever felt the life you're living doesn't match what you imagined? That what you encountered wasn't in the game plan? The crowd of sorrows was more than you bargained for? Have you wondered what those turning points and wake up calls mean?
They are about your life unfolding in perfect order. Barbara says, "Everything is to be welcomed. What feels like a crisis is, in truth, a turning point, a moment of judgment, of decisiveness, of transformation, when we have an opportunity to separate from an old reality and chart a new course." Our society tends to label things. Anytime a man or woman makes abrupt changes while in their late 40's or 50's, it's called a midlife crisis. "The midlife crisis is an experience that is misnamed," Barbara says. "It should be called midlife awakening. It is emotional alchemy that rebirths us at a crucial point in our life journey."
So much is changing in our world. "The line between our inner spirituality and our outer life, including work, relationships, money, etc., is disappearing," Barbara acknowledges. "People are beginning to develop spiritual perspectives by calling upon their inner resources and connecting with higher aspects of themselves. Millions of baby boomers are embracing this new integration of the inner and outer; forging their personal and spiritual life and incorporating it into the rest of their lives. We are living our spirituality now. It is so much different from back in the 70's and 80's."
Times Are Changing
I asked Barbara how she became involved with the self-help movement. "The seeds of the movement, which began in the late 60's and early 70's," she recalls, "is where I learned about personal growth. I began to meditate in 1969. By 1980, we were going to workshops and learning to work on ourselves. Prior to this time, it was unheard of. Back then, there was no such thing as "self-help" books. What I experienced in Los Angeles when the personal growth and human potential movement began, were new concepts that were born into the culture which are now part of the collective consciousness. Today, the self-help movement is a way of life." I commented that I totally agree. In fact, just the other day while shopping in my local office supply store, I spotted a section filled with what was aptly named Folders For Your Mood. Can you imagine we can now buy aromatherapy file folders scented in lavender, jasmine, orange and vanilla! What was on the fringe before is now so mainstream.
As Barbara and I chuckled at our changing times, she commented on some spiritually integrated practices and words that have also found their way into the business community. "Just the other day," she said, "I read in USA Today a comment about the new mantra for investmentsŠmantraŠthis was a term that no one knew in the 70's. Look at what is happening today. Women's liberation is not dead. It began as a movement and a new paradigm and has transitioned into an integrated part of society. It is part of the culture. Middle-aged women in Minnesota are going to Yoga classes and breathing in to their chakras. There was no such thing as 'wellness' before the 70's. New levels of information are making their way into our culture and a new spirituality is emerging. We are looking more deeply into the relationship between our inner and outer world."
Look For the Signs
Barbara invites us to look for the signs in our own life that point the way to this emergence.
You may see within yourself:
- An awareness of the interconnectivity of life. You may notice that what you do and think affects everything around you.
- A developing global consciousness; a realization that we are part of a whole.
- You will recognize and sense a higher purpose for your life.
- You may feel there is a rhythm and a reason for the events that unfold before you.
- You begin to say, "I am here for a reason; to learn, to serve and to grow."
"Our planet is ready for a shift," Barbara concludes, "and I feel a shift is essential. There is an acceleration taking place and the limitations we have previously tolerated in ourselves are no longer acceptable. There is something powerful happening now on the planet. Use all the turning points and wake up calls to reexamine your life. Whether they are voluntary, or ones you were pushed into, it is a tremendous opportunity that stands before us. I am working with people who are ready to make a breakthrough in their lives and ready to experience a real shift. This is what my work is all aboutŠalways being ready to welcome, embrace and navigate the unexpected!"
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