Here’s a scenario I recently witnessed:
A woman was fumbling with a coffee mug trying to twist the top off. Her friend takes it out of her hand and lifts the top up. “It’s vacuum sealed,” she says in a condemning voice. “Can’t you see that? You’re so stupid.”
I was horrified to hear someone berate another in this fashion. WTF?
Then I realized, this happens with parents and children every day. It happened to me growing up. Being called stupid was commonplace. That’s just the way it was.
Today, I rationalize that behavior away -- believing adults of that era didn't know how harmful words could be. Truth be told, they probably felt inadequate in their own childrearing skills.
Many adults are still carrying the scars of an unconscious generation, believing deep inside that their worth is marred. This is where being a grown up really matters!
When I heard that woman tell her friend she was stupid, it touched a cord of empathy for the many still struggling with self love and self worth.
As adults, we can question those who mindlessly throw about hurtful comments — and we can call on Don Miguel Ruiz’s Second Agreement:
Don’t Take Anything Personally
“Nothing other people do is because of you. It’s because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.”
Remember — someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business. They’ve got a whole thing going on in the recesses of their brain and their upbringing has nothing to do with you.
Let’s do our best and be kind, conscious and considerate to ourselves and others!
We're grown ups now -- let's learn from the past, make healthy choices and create a loving world for our friends, families and children.
The Women's Wisdom Circle
This week's topic: Don't Take Anything Personally
Levis JCC Sandler Center, Boca Raton
Membership is not required. $13 payable at the door.
21050 95th Ave S, Boca Raton, FL 33428
561-558-2520
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