- Liz Sterling
Notes On The Inner Child & More
All About Communication from The Wisdom Circle January 27,2021
There are 3 important ways to communicate:
1. Communication with Oneself
2. Communication with Others
3. Communication with Higher Realms, G-d, Angels, Spirit Guides, Higher Power
Good communication with others requires first and foremost —good communication with ourselves. In other words, to become good communicators, we must first become good listeners into our own inner dialogue. Then we need to be aware of the filters that color our own communication style.
Our previous experiences, believes, values, assumptions, judgments and bias influence the quality of our listening. Whenever we listen to something, we first will evaluate what we are hearing and this has an effect that triggers our emotional reactions and our judgment.
If we hear something that contradicts our values or our interests, we tend to react, by becoming defensive; and our ability to be effective listeners is hostage of our own filters.
To become aware of the barriers that lay deep within — we need to become aware of how our life experiences, our gender, our race, our social status, our education, our religion, our failures, our fears can affect our ability to listening deeply to the other party.
Self-Awareness and Deep Listening
Self-awareness allows for a listening that is free of assumptions and judgments that compromise a healthy communication. Before we are able to listen deeply to others, we need to learn how to listen deeply to ourselves. It is this self-awareness that helps us to both be compassionate to ourselves and to understand the other’s frame of reference.
Inner Child Awareness - by THICH NHAT HANH
When we speak of listening with compassion, we usually think of listening to someone else. But we must also listen to the wounded child inside us. Sometimes the wounded child in us needs all our attention. That little child might emerge from the depths of your consciousness and ask for your attention. If you are mindful, you will hear his or her voice calling for help. At that moment, instead of paying attention to whatever is in front of you, go back and tenderly embrace the wounded child. You can talk directly to the child with the language of love, saying, “In the past, I left you alone. I went away from you. Now, I am very sorry. I will take good care of you. I know you suffer. I have been so busy.
I have neglected you, and now I have learned a way to come back to you.” If necessary, you have to cry together with that child. Whenever you need to, you can sit and breathe with the child. “Breathing in, I go back to my wounded child; breathing out, I take good care of my wounded child.” Talk to your child several times a day. Embracing your child tenderly, you reassure her that you’ll be there to listen.
If you know how to go back to her and listen carefully every day for five or ten minutes, healing will take place. When you climb a beautiful mountain, invite your child within to climb with you. When you contemplate the sunset, invite her to enjoy it with you. If you do that for a few weeks or a few months, the wounded child in you will experience healing.
With practice, we can see that our wounded child is not only us. Our wounded child may represent several generations. Our mother may have suffered throughout her life. Our father may have suffered. Perhaps our parents weren’t able to look after the wounded child in themselves. So when we’re embracing the wounded child in us, we’re embracing all the wounded children of our past generations. This practice is not a practice for ourselves alone, but for numberless generations of ancestors and descendants.
Our ancestors may not have known how to care for their wounded child within, so they transmitted their wounded child to us. Our practice is to end this cycle. If we can heal our wounded child, we will not only liberate ourselves, but we will also help liberate whoever has hurt us. There are people who have practiced with their inner child who have had a lessening of their suffering and have experienced transformation. Their relationships with their family and friends have become much easier.
Say These 7 Things to Heal and Nurture Your Inner Child
1. I love you.Tell yourself that you are lovable.
2. I hear you.Instead of suppressing the voice of your inner child, say, “I hear you. We’ll work through it. It’s going to be okay.”
3. You didn’t deserve this. A child is innocent and pure. We can reclaim our innocence
4. I’m sorry. This may be a time to say, I’m sorry for the pain you felt or the way you felt then. I am sorry I abandoned you I am here for you and love you.
5. I forgive you. And I forgive myself for anything I could have done better. I was only a kid, and like everyone, I was and am human and imperfect.
6. Thank you.Thank your inner child for never giving up, for getting through the tough moments in life together with you with strength and perseverance.
7. You did your best. As a child, many of us were overachievers or we tried to meet someone else’s standard, to be “perfect or right. Some tried to avoid being seen.” Some felt we were never good enough,.
Truth be told, we all did the best we could at the time. We’re still doing the best we can.
Communication with Others
Be a good listener
Repeat what you hear
Know what you are looking to accomplish
Speak into the affirmative
Be Aware of Body Language
Sandwich Method of Communication
Say something positive
Slip in the criticism or issue
Close with future oriented possibilities
Communication with Higher Realms
Acknowledge Special Moments
Prayer is Good Medicine
Ask and You Shall Receive
Meditation. Yoga. Chanting or Singing
Dancing - Whirling Dervish