My mom and I used to play a game when we were out shopping. Before running into the store, sometimes we’d just watch the people coming and going and…. get ready for this, we’d make up stories about their lives.
It was sheer embellishment — we’d joke around about their love life, children, home decor, where they shop and what movies they liked. There were no limits to what we projected onto all those people.
It wasn’t until this very moment that I realized that game was the epitome of making assumptions.
It may feel impossible to avoid, given how we are socialized, but the author of “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom,” don Miguel Ruiz, feels he has uncovered the key to eliminating drama from life.
“At the root of all life’s drama is the third agreement,” he says.
Don’t make assumptions
Making assumptions — whether it’s about what you think of others or what you imagine they think of you — always leads to creating false scenarios in the mind that trickles directly into the heart.
Ruiz writes in his book, “We make the assumption that everybody sees life the way we do.”
We also assume crazy stuff about what’s motivating others — and in turn, that gives us license to create more drama in our lives.
Learned knowledge and experience takes on a voice that lives only in our minds and no one else can hear it.“That voice is made by assumptions and it’s just a way to try to control all those thoughts.” Ruis says, “The way to avoid making assumptions is to make a conscious effort to find the quieter space in our minds.”
“If we go deeper, if we find a place in between thoughts — that inner silence — then we will see that we really can control our thoughts.”
Games are fun to play — if we know it’s just a game. When assumptions take on a life of their own, that’s when we know, the game’s over!
Think on these things while working with The Four Agreements:
Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take anything personally
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best
The Women's Wisdom Circle
This week's topic: Wednesday February 26th Don’t Make Assumptions
Levis JCC Sandler Center, Boca Raton
Membership is not required. $13 payable at the door.
21050 95th Ave S, Boca Raton, FL 33428
561-558-2520